But You Gotta Live Life‏

That's what my friend told me when I told her I was second guessing going to Miami to celebrate our last birthday in our twenties.

I told her that I didn't want to go fat.

You look the same she said. Actually, that's not true - I am a good 15 pounds heavier than the last time I saw her.

She really didn't understand me. She told me you're not fat to me.

I told my mom & she really didn't support the idea of not going either. She said you'll still make progress & you'll have fun once you get there.

Am I over-reacting?

I thought I'd be so much further in the weight loss by now. It be one thing if I was in the 140s now.

But I am not...

Both my trainer & nutritionist think I can get to 140 by my birthday. I want to think I can, but I know realize how much more work this is taking. I guess I really did think that bam - pow - my body would get back in shape in about 3 months. 2 months down & that ain't really happening...

When my friend said you gotta live life...I was thinking yeah, that is the reason why I am doing all this work. I don't wanna not go to social events b/c I am unhappy with what I look like, I don't want to be late to an event b/c I can't find anything to look right or camouflage my body, I don't want to not take pictures or share pictures b/c of how I look.

So, the question is....Can I trust the process? That eating right and exercise will slim & trim my body. That my body won't be 'perfect', but it will be better.

I hope so...because I ready to live life at another level....

P.S. I'll let you know what I decide to do about Miami.