Thursday, July 30, 2009

But You Gotta Live Life‏

That's what my friend told me when I told her I was second guessing going to Miami to celebrate our last birthday in our twenties.

I told her that I didn't want to go fat.

You look the same she said. Actually, that's not true - I am a good 15 pounds heavier than the last time I saw her.

She really didn't understand me. She told me you're not fat to me.

I told my mom & she really didn't support the idea of not going either. She said you'll still make progress & you'll have fun once you get there.

Am I over-reacting?

I thought I'd be so much further in the weight loss by now. It be one thing if I was in the 140s now.

But I am not...

Both my trainer & nutritionist think I can get to 140 by my birthday. I want to think I can, but I know realize how much more work this is taking. I guess I really did think that bam - pow - my body would get back in shape in about 3 months. 2 months down & that ain't really happening...

When my friend said you gotta live life...I was thinking yeah, that is the reason why I am doing all this work. I don't wanna not go to social events b/c I am unhappy with what I look like, I don't want to be late to an event b/c I can't find anything to look right or camouflage my body, I don't want to not take pictures or share pictures b/c of how I look.

So, the question is....Can I trust the process? That eating right and exercise will slim & trim my body. That my body won't be 'perfect', but it will be better.

I hope so...because I ready to live life at another level....

P.S. I'll let you know what I decide to do about Miami.

Coats, Scarves, and Gloves...Oh My...‏

So, I just realized that if I was to lose weight at a 2 lbs pace a week it would take me the end of October to hit my lowest of my weight loss goal (130lbs).

Just in time for...the cold weather season....bulky clothes and heavy coats...Not that I was planning on wearing skimpy outfits during the summer, but arms and legs are the most exposed & the materials in clothes are their lightest in May-June-July-August.

But to encourage myself...I'll just think of what my slim/trim body could do in the winter.....I could wear fitted sweaters w/o a belly pouch. I could buy & wear those cute knit sweater dresses. I could zip up my long boots without a fight....I would look fab at that winter formal. I could be in better shape to give that 5K/10K October Run a try...I could get that super cute leather crop jacket I saw at Alden B. & have it emphasize my lower half looking neat....instead of spreading. I could have this weight thing together prior to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I think I'm encouraged!

6 weeks ago‏

So with only 6 weeks to goal to my goal of 130 to 135 lbs (and mind you i started working to this goal 9 weeks ago) and the realization that I (most likely...never say never right?) won't hit it. I thought I'd list the things that I have accomplished in the last 6 weeks to encourage myself about what could happen in the next 6.

1. I was 5 pounds heavier

2. I had extra inches around my stomach & hips

3. I didn't have as much stamina in my Zumba & Global Soul class

4. I still had saddlebags

5. I hadn't reduced my coke (a cola) habit (Anywhere between 16 to 64 oz)

6. I wasn't drinking enough water

7. I wasn't getting enough (or even a reasonable amount) of fruits/non-starchy vegetables/protein.

8. I wasn't strength training

9. I hadn't worked out several days a week for consecutive weeks in almost a year

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Fit Woman VS. Fat Woman

I've been thinking alot about maintaning weight loss. A flex in weight and time spent exercising up or down is normal.

I stumbled upon this blog post ( and it really got me thinking about what fit woman do vs. fat woman. This Sweet Potato Pie post was focused on the struggles of African American woman with losing weight, but I think that issue is more universal than that. What do fit woman do differently than fat woman? What will I have to do to stay/be a fit woman?

What level of weight gain and/or lack of exercise will be unacceptable? Oh and I guess I should many days of unhealthy eating will be unacceptable?

So, I'm sure I may tweak this going forward. But for now I will say that 1) 137 lbs or higher is unaceptable. A weight of 140 lbs is a danger zone and means that serious tweaks to my diet and/or exercise program is in order including a discussion with my nutrionist and/or a meeting with my personal trainer. 2) A week of less than 4 days of exercise is unacceptable. 3) A period of more than 2 days of (mostly) healthy eating is not acceptable.

Fit Woman

1. Do not allow more than a 10% weight gain without taking action

2. Fit woman do not allow long periods of time to pass without exercise

3. Do not allow themselves to fall off the wagon

4. But if they do, they get right back on it

A lot of frustation and some tears....

So...the past 2 weeks have been really difficult for me.

3 weeks ago, I hit 6 weeks of working out 4 to 6 days a week and hadn't really seen any changes in my body & no change in my scale for 4 weeks! I had set a goal of losing at least 20 pounds in 13 weeks and I realized that there was just no way I could do that.

I had started to clean up my diet about 4 weeks ago. But even so....there was a lack of change in my body/the scale...I realized that I needed to make some more changes. The idea of serious calorie cutting or food elimination was depressing.

Finally deciding to meet with the dietitian about 2 weeks ago actually put me in an emotional state I wasn't expecting. Sure I was casually playing with the idea a few weeks before that, but now that it was official....I was upset that I let myself get to a point to where I had to meet with a nutrional specialist. I was upset that all the work I had put in wasn't showing. I was upset that I was here again. I can't remember the last time I cried that much in such a short period.

Of course, it doesn't help that every health magazine has something about how it just takes 6 or 8 weeks to get to "your best summer body" or "fitter, happier you".

Anyways....I'm doing better...though i do have my was chuck full of them. It's 9 weeks of exercising for me. I truly thought I'd be at least 65% of the way there. As of today 20% of the way.

I keep telling myself I am making progress. I will be in a better place in 6 weeks then I was 9 weeks ago. I am moving forward. Both my nutrionist and trainer seem to think that I can hit 140 lbs in 6 weeks...which is encouraging and dounting at the same time. That would put me 80% towards my goal weight.

Getting Help

So....I decided that this time in losing the weight I needed some help.

The last time I worked with my work's gyms trainers - they put together a plan for me to follow & gave me some basic nutritional and diet tips. They checked in with how I was doing every 6 weeks.

So...I hired a personal trainer about 6 weeks ago...I met with her for one session, she did a health assessment and put together a plan for me to follow on my own, and am I meeting with her once a month. (We just had our first session a week and half ago...She kicked my butt!)

About 3 weeks I ago...I decided that I really needed to change my eating habits too, but the thought of 'dieting' was overwhelming. So...I researched dietitians/nutritionists. I found a couple that seemed great...but was surprised at just how much working with them costs! I did some more searching and found one that was more reasonable and had a great program. We had our first meeting about a week & a half ago. She's great!

Although it's just been a few weeks, working with them has been good for me. They push me to obtain my goals and provide some encouragement along the way.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

How I Lost The Weight (The First Time)

When I first started this exercise...I thought simple 1) I ate better & 2) Iexercised. CASE CLOSED...but the more I thought about it the more I realized it was more than 2 things....

1. I did cardio at least 3 to 5 days a week.

2. I did strength training at least 2 to 3 days a week.

3. I increased my overall activity....I parked further away in parking lots for extra walking, I opted for stairs instead of elevators, I would go out of my way to take the stairs...for example, if I needed to use the restroom I would walk a couple floors up to the upper level restroom).

4. I counted and recorded my calories.

5. I reduced my calorie intake.

6. I ate better...including reducing my fried food intakes...increased vegetables & salads

7. On days I was not working out, I would eat especially healthier (sometimes lighter). If I ended up having an unnecesary or unplanned extra snack or helping, I would increase my activity or intensity of my workout.

8. I let my inner circle know that I was on a quest to lose weight - their support helped me!

9. I became comfortable with eating out in lighter/healthier way with friends & family...(Just because I am Chili's doesn't mean I have to have appetizers, cheeseburger and fries, and a dessert...I can eat a healthier selection).

10. I bought fitness magazines for tips on healthy eating & workouts and motivational stories of ladies who did it.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Ms. Bad Mama Jama

No....I'm not one yet...

This blog will record my journey to getting in shape.

A little about me....I'm 5'2 and 155 lbs. My goal weight is 130 - 135 lbs.

I grew up in an family that encouraged healthy eating & physical activity. Growing up I ran track and played volleyball & basketball. In college, I stayed active...walking (I didn't have a car so I walked everywhere); participated in intramurals....flag football, soccer, basketball; and dancing...ballroom, swing, and salsa. My weight fluxed between 115 - 125 depending on how active I was....usually towards the latter.

I slowed down on my activity and healthy eating in my last year of grad school. I slowly put on weight, by graduation I had put on 10 pounds. I weighed 135 lbs.

I started a new job in corporate america shortly after graduation. It started with a 3 month intense training program (9 to 5 five days a week). To keep us occuppied & focused & energized on the training, we were provided with cookies, candy, sodas, and other sweets. We often had dinners out. Sitting on my butt for 3 months & eating tons of sweets soon took its toll....I gained ten more pounds.

I kept slowly gaining weight til I hit a whole new high....156 lbs! That was the winter of '05. I'll never forget what got me to make a change...We were celebrating at my cousin's wedding reception. When an older family friend commented to my mother (in clear earshot of me - she was just two chairs away) that I had put on weight. I tried my best to keep it together, but I was devasted. I left shortly after and cried and cried. The next day...I hit the gym and started to eat better. It took months & months to drop the weight, but I did it. It wasn't until the spring of 2007 that I got finally got back to 130 lbs to 135 lbs.

I slowly put back on 5 pounds then 10. That lasted for about a year and half. Sometimes dropping 5 pounds, but never getting lower than 140. I steadily and slowly kept putting back on weight....this time I hit an whole new high...160 lbs (that was about 10 weeks ago)!

Well, I'm working my way back to being healthy! I think blogging will get a good for me...It'll help me keep better track of my progress & it'll give me another place to vent about my weight loss journey (my inner circle is sick to death of hearing about it).